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Casper Candlewacks is the only boy with any sense in a village full of Idiots...

Hear all about his adventures from Ivan Brett, the character’s creator!

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Idiots of Winchester

Thanks for all your comments on my last blog. Really interesting to hear all your opinions on the issue.

But we don’t care about that – WHO WANTS MORE IDIOTS?

The first is one I should’ve uploaded weeks ago, but you know how it is: one moment you’re ready to update your blog, the very next your rampaging through another dimension on the back of a white pegasus, tracking down the evil Lord Chaos before he unleashes his Oblivion Amulet. Or something.

OlDWIF BOLEM – All Saints C of E Primary School, Winchester

There’s an awful lot going on here with Oldwif, and being that the event was almost two weeks ago (shame on me) I may have forgotten some of the details. But here’s the crux: Oldwif (bottom left, riding a horse) is a veteran secret agent, who’s tracked down some sort of evil cowboy bank robber (top right, riding a cow). Oldwif is on Her Majesty’s Secret Service, reclaiming a stack of gold ingots that the evil cowboy has stolen from a bank. But alas! When he finds the gold he finds the cowboy’s been chewing it like tobacco and spitting it into a golden spittoon. Never beaten, Oldwif stuffed as much of the golden spit into his pocket as he could fit and rode off on his tiny horse. What follows is a high-speed chase worthy of the bestest Western in history, only one of them’s riding a cow and he’s shooting at Oldwif with a spit gun. What an adventure!

(Kids of All Saints – have I missed anything? Tell me in the comments below.)

 

LOSSANA SHOE-MUFFIN – Oliver’s Battery Primary School

Lossana found a tiny purple elephant in a pile of washing one day, and took it for her own. Soon she discovered that the elephant produced an incredible quantity of earwax, the likes of which she’d never tasted. Not only did it bake into delicious cookies, it also could roll into yarn to knit socks, squidge down into hair gel and be used as the fuse for a giant sticky bomb, or something. Soon Lossana developed her own Elephant-Earwax range of products, selling them outside her house on the weekends. She’s also developing an earwax voodoo-doll to rid herself of her annoying husband, while trying to breed more elephants with the earwax they create. Finally, you may notice she’s only wearing one sock. That’s because the elephant uses the other as a sleeping bag.

 

Well, that’s all I’ve got until tomorrow. Bet you can’t wait!

2 Responses to “Idiots of Winchester”

  • Jessica says:

    I enjoyed your visit to our school today, thanks a lot. I’m already on page 155 of Death by Pigeon. I have planned a story about Laura Amazon, an explorer in China. Have you got any tips for my writing?

    Jessica

    • Ivan says:

      Hi Jessica,
      Wow! Well done for getting so far so fast! That sounds like a great idea for a book – with something as exciting as exploration and adventure, I’d give some really good time to research. Learn some exciting facts about China that you can bring into the story. Legends, history, exciting places that she might go. And then go for it! Sounds fab.
      Hope you enjoy the rest,
      Ivan

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